Sad Santa

If every woman who was a victim of sexual assault got this attention, we'd never hear any other news.

In Danbury, Connecticut, a woman on crutches was arrested for groping santa.

The 65 year old santa was embarrassed. The woman denies any unwelcome or unwanted (to borrow corporate sexual harassment slang) touch.

She was arrested for 4th-degree sexual assault and breach of peace. How, exactly, did she breach peace? Hmmm...

I don't think women should get any different treatment than men for this kind of stuff, but this seems unequal to me. Just check out Hollaback NYC for all the groping that's going on out there.

Is this woman being treated differently because she's a woman? Because he's 65? Because he's santa? I'd say all of the above.

Eewww. Old is Gross

On his radio show yesterday, Rush Limbaugh talked about a picture of Hillary Clinton featured on The Drudge Report.

Here's Drudge's picture:No story accompanied the picture, just the headline,"The Toll of a Campaign."

Eek! A woman with wrinkles!

Rush's comments, courtesy of The Huffington Post:

There is this thing in this country that, as you age -- and this is particularly, you know, women are hardest hit on this, and particularly in Hollywood -- America loses interest in you, and we know this is true because we constantly hear from aging actresses, who lament that they can't get decent roles anymore, other than in supporting roles that will not lead to any direct impact, yay or nay, in the box office. While Hollywood box-office receipts may be stagnant, none of that changes the fact that this is a country obsessed with appearance. It's a country obsessed with looks. The number of people in public life who appear on television or on the big screen, who are content to be who they are, you can probably count on one hand. Everybody's trying to make themselves look different -- and in that situation, in that case, they think they're making themselves look better. It's just the way our culture has evolved. It's the way the country is. It's like almost an addiction that some people have to what I call the perfection that Hollywood presents of successful, beautiful, fun-loving people. So the question is this: Will this country want to actually watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?

He's completely right. This country is ageist and sexist, which spells FUCKED for an older woman in Hollywood.

But in politics? Is Dubya winning any prizes in the looks department? No. The question shouldn't be will we elect an older woman (60 isn't that old, by the way), but what the fuck is wrong with us if we choose a president by the way he/she looks?

Yes, I think it would be hard for Americans to elect someone with a harelip or no nose (which is also sad), but a woman with wrinkles? That's inexcusable.

That's it. I've found my candidate

Who wouldn't want a candidate who values his wife, right?

Or not. The AP, in all it's wisdom, asked the candidates what their most prized possession was. Fred Thompson's answer? His "trophy wife."

Honestly.

But don't worry, it was all tongue in cheek.

Thanks to my awesome brother for the link.

Misguided

When asked who he'd like to feature on the new version of American Gladiators (yikes) , Hulk Hogan, freakishly blonde man/horse, said: "Without a doubt, Rosie O'Donnell. Somebody needs to shut that big mouth up."

First, let me say: what a fucking asshole. Sure, I think Rosie O'Donnell is a little annoying, but jesus christ. You could've just chosen not to answer the question.

Second, this was O'Donnell's response, which she posted on her blog:

(Rosie: you're not helping. I'm glad you feel you can speak your mind, as a proud, chunky, lesbian. Honestly. But dear god, stop writing poems. PLEASE!!!!)

Dead in Iraq

by Rosie O'Donnell

hulk hogan
the wrestler guy

wants to pummel me
isnt that sweet
and wildly odd

its like a gang of gross guys
a club almost
old dumb white and on tv

nearly 4000 dead in iraq
focus
we r in atlanta
for jane fondas b day
70 and stunning
she - i adore

GCAPP.ORG
peace out

Holy Crap

I saw this on Feministing today.

An actual headline from the actual New York Post about the death of notorious abuser Ike Turner. While at first, to some, this might seem clever and maybe funny, further thought reveals how offensive and distasteful it is.

Sorry, maybe feminists don't have a sense of humor. But to me, this is horrible.

Yay Feministing

When I saw this article on Feministing, I thought it was gross, sure. But what do we expect from Wal Mart? Plus, there's a ton of ridiculously inappropriate clothes out there for girls. On the back, it apparently says "when you have Santa" so it's not exactly as disgusting as it seems. But the innuendo is there, no doubt about it.Well, I was wrong. Claiming "parents" had complained, FoxNews broke the story. Wal Mart pulled the underwear. Feministing has officially changed the shopping experiences of Juniors everywhere. And they called out the hypocrite that is Wal Mart.

Three cheers for online activism! You can read Feministing's victory cheer here.

Laughing at the Onion

I love The Onion videos. Here's the latest that made me pee.

"It really convinced me that women can do anything men can do on T.V."


Evangeline Lilly Wins 'Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene' At Strong Women In TV Awards

The kids will love this

For the kid who has everything, meet The Hillary Nutcracker. A bestseller on stupid.com, this little nugget features stainless steel thighs. Sadly, the website tells us: "Like Hillary herself, nuts are not included."

Of course, the website is full of stupid shit, but this is a little offensive. Here's some of the copy:

Look at her! Standing with arms akimbo, legs confidently spread, ready to crack some nuts with her stainless steel thighs. We're not certain if this is an Anti-Hillary item or a Pro-Hillary Item. But either way we think it is really weird and funny.



Alright! So when do we get the cunt-punching Mitt Romney? Or the ass-licking Bush?

Australian Brutality

I don't know much about Australian history, except that it was the country where convicts were sent. Thanks to this Broadsheet article, I came across this poor girl's story.

Turns out Americans aren't the only ones who have problems with rape allegations. A ten-year old girl, in foster care forever and diagnosed as "mildly intellectually impaired" and a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome, must have agreed to have sex to the 9 boys who gang raped her. According to the judge: "I accept that the girl involved, with respect to all of these matters, was not forced, and that she probably agreed to have sex with all of you."

To be fair, Australians are already calling for Judge Bradley to step aside.

Uh...YEAH! To make matters worse, this is Judge Bradley:

Sigh...if only

Thanks, Feministing, for finding this ridiculously misogynistic "funny" e-card.

If only I could meet the man who wants a remote to shut up his stupid, feminist wife. I would ... no, words will only diminish my hatred. Let's just say rope and tape would be involved. And NOT in a good way.

Wait...wait. Where's my sense of humor? Who wouldn't want someone to do everything they wanted, have sex whenever they wanted, stop PMSing whenever they wanted. Doesn't really matter that it's enslavement, rape, and oppression. Oh yeah, that's really funny.

Fuck a Huckabee

Okay, so Huckabee is rocking the polls. Doesn't change the fact that he's a religious Republican who, according to Newsweek, has an explosive temper.

Who knows why he signed the evangelical ad in USA Today confirming his belief in the '98 Southern Baptist Convention's statement on family. ("A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church ... A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ."..."You are right because you called husbands to sacrificially love and lead their wives. You are right because you called wives to graciously submit to their husband's sacrificial leadership.")Aside from completely confirming that I don't like Huckabee, this quote means a little more to yours truly. I've actually been to a wedding...where the minister...wait for it...quoted this affirmation.

As you can imagine, I was speechless and aching to scream at the same time. I'm good friends with the guy who was getting married and, yes, he's an evangelical, but I didn't expect this. I don't know why. I couldn't believe any woman would agree to this. Servant leadership? Submit? How can you say "I do" to something like that?

Gross. This article from Our Bodies Our Blog makes me want to throw up. Sorry...give me a minute.

Okay, I'm back.

The article covers a Chicago Tribune article about so-called purity balls. The link will take you to a better video than this one:


Yikes!

Nothing like giving up your body and choice to a male power. A sign of things to come?

This Just In: Some Women STILL Don't Like Hillary Clinton

Oh Wall Street Journal, alpha females?
Apparently, businesswomen aren't sold on Hillary Clinton. And according to the WSJ, it's because they're either Republicans, afraid to speak their minds (natch), or (gasp) they're actually looking at the issues.

In last week's On the Media(great podcast - check it out), there was a piece about the fact that we all call Hillary Clinton by her first name. Co-host Bob Garfield wondered if it made him a bad feminist, or if it just made him a bad reporter (Clinton is branding herself as "Hillary!"). I don't know, but I'm going to stop using the familiar when describing someone I don't know personally. I hate when people do it with celebrities, so why should I do it with a presidential candidate?

In other news: I love Nellie McKay. There isn't a good video of her song Mother of Pearl, but definitely check it out. Here's her only (I think) music video:
.

She performed both of these when I saw her in Brooklyn. Go: love her as I love her.

Surfing F-world

As a participant in Web Part Deux (web 2.0, for all you nerds out there, web with interaction, individualization, interconnectedness, and indifferentiation for those who don't know the lingo[I hate parentheses inside parentheses, but I had to note that one of my "in"s is completely made up])...

Okay, those parentheses were too long. Now you've forgotten what I said in the beginning.

Since my brother dragged me into the world of web dos (the Spanish way of saying it), I decided I should pull some of that into my blog.

Nope, I'm not cool enough to delve into anything more interactive than the little comment section below. But I HAVE been doing some surfing.

Is it still called surfing? I feel like there should be a more web the second way of saying it. Plugging? Hitting? Sticking? Clicking? Spotting?

Oh wait. That last one's already something. Interestingly enough, spotting is both a sign of hope and a sign of despair. Hmmmm...maybe that's just right.

Sorry, back from my tangent.

Anyway, I decided to explore the world of feminist blogs. I use Netvibes
as my RSS reader (how web: the next generation am I?), and I need a "women" tab.

No, I won't be getting laid there, or looking at porn, I'll be reading about women (health, news, language, society, you know). And I'm going to add the links to the left over there. If I stop reading one, I'll quietly take them off.

I'm sure these links will show up in my posts from now on. And ladies, if you're reading, feel free to put The Peeled Apple on your blogroll.

Finally, my background music for my search has been this excellent new-to-me band: Straylight Run. I'm listening to they're latest CD, The Needles The Space

Quiznos Commercial

Okay, first the toasted-sub chain aired a euphemism-heavy commercial, which seemed completely normal until a woman at the end said her sub wasn't "lacking any meat. And that's what women like." Cue the controversy. I didn't have a problem with that one.

The new commercial is a different story. I could hardly believe what I'd seen.



Okay, tongue in cheek, maybe. Still, the underlying theory is that women are unhappy. If you're beautiful, you constantly want to eat. If you're normal-looking, you're so down on yourself that you're actually PLEASED when a beautiful woman says that she hates you. If your willpower isn't overwhelmed by food, your mind is. While it may be true for me, it's not true for everyone, and it's offensive regardless.

Oh my God! Curves are good????

A new study shows that curvy women might be smarter and have more intelligent kids. You can read more about it EVERYWHERE (note: link is not to everywhere, just to one example).

Is this news? Sure, it's cool. I struggle with weight just like everyone else in the world, so yeah, it's nice to know there's something good about curves. "Curvy women" for this study meant women who's waist was smaller than their hips. The omega-3 fatty acids make us all brilliant.

The media has taken the opportunity to evaluate which celebrities are "curvier" and therefore smarter. Am I surprised? Guess not. But it's offensive and ridiculous. The New York Post has a whole photo essay detailing who's smart and who's not with ACTUAL hip to waist measurements. Who the hell cares?!? People are starving and dying. Why is this front page news?

"Jennifer Lopez's waist-to-hip ratio suggests she's got all that and is smart, too! (AP Photo/Henny Ray Abrams)"

The Yoga Stick of Death

We've all heard by now that Linda Stein's PA, Natavia Lowery, has been arrested for Stein's murder. Lowery confessed to beating Stein with her own four-pound exercise stick six or seven times. Case closed, murder solved.

This is a bizarro case in which no party comes out smelling rosy. Linda Stein apparently verbally abused Lowery. She waved the stick at her and blew pot in Lowery's face.

Lowery has been accused of identity theft and was in charge of things like social security numbers and bank accounts belonging to really rich people.

Anyone who's been a PA knows that it's thankless, tiring work. I've never wanted to kill a boss, but then I've never actually been a PA. If you aren't treated like a human being, you're not going to behave like one. For some, it takes longer than others. For Lowery, it only took four months. Why didn't she just quit?

Regardless, this is an issue of humans treating other humans like garbage. It happens every day and sometimes there are consequences.I'm not in any way condoning what Lowery did. She was stupid for not quitting a job that made her feel the way she did. But maybe this is the pound on the head people need to start treating each other better.

Just saying for the record: I love my bosses. They treat everyone equally and never condescend. Actually, I've been lucky most of my life to have good people telling me what to do. But I can only imagine what it must've been like for Lowery.

Aside from all the general human being stuff, what does this mean for women?

Linda Stein was a powerful woman. She managed The Ramones and went to Studio 54. She was a breast cancer survivor. She was a loud New Yorker. And Elton John is writing a song in memory of her. Lowery...all we know is she has this identity theft thing in her past and she murdered Stein.

The crime, the people involved, it all adds up to "those crazy women doing crazy things." All the papers are ringing with it. They love a good "catfight." I hate it. Sure, she was sort of famous. But would her murder be getting as much publicity if it weren't so...juicy?

And this yoga stick thing makes us all look bad. It's like a D-movie, where women pull hair and wear short skirts. It's like Chuck (seriously, cat fights factor in way too often in that show). I know neither party was thinking about the implications for women, nor should they have. But I, for one, can only hang my head and say: we're not all like that. I don't even USE a yoga stick.

Chuck's Women (some spoilers)

Just finished another Chuck Palahniuk novel (Invisible Monsters) featuring crazy people doing crazy things. I've only read three Palahniuk novels, but in the last two, women were the protagonists. Well, as much as there is a protagonist in any of Palahniuk's novels.

Though Diary is written in the voice of a woman, it was really Invisible Monsters that got me thinking about the way Palahniuk treats women in his novels. Palahniuk's worlds are magical in a grotesque kind of way, but his characters always have one foot in reality. Even if it's an unsteady foot.

Diary is the diary of a woman trapped in a city that happens to be sucking the life out of her for the sake of tourism dollars. Misty Marie Wilmot keeps a "coma diary," keeping track of her husband's attempted suicide coma. Misty is unwittingly at the mercy of the town, but she's a strong, sensible woman (again, to the degree that anyone's sensible in a Palahniuk novel). I think he did a good job here.

But Invisible Monsters was more my speed. The book takes place in a supermodel, Hollywood, sex-change fantasy. The main character is a model. When we meet her, her jaw has just been shot off. She can't speak, has to write everything down. She's hideous. She meets a man who's going through a sex change op. Brandy Alexander takes the main character on a wild ride where the main goal is to score pills from old ladies as they pretend to look at said old ladies' houses. A man joins them, but the main character, who goes by many different names, starts feeding him female hormones to make him un-lovable.

The plot has a lot of twists, some more predictable and believable than others, but the woman in this novel...her goal is to be ugly. Her goal is to leave a life where everyone is telling you how to breathe, how to look, where to sit. Her life has been a lie.

When looking at Palahniuk's women, (in the two I've read with women for main characters) you have to remember that his worlds are fantastical. Okay, normally I wouldn't buy that a woman shot her own face off because it was the only thing she could think of to make her less beautiful. And Misty has a very real relationship with her daughter...until she believes that her daughter's dead based on loose evidence. But within the walls of these worlds, Palahniuk writes very honestly. His women have a true voice. And it's one of the main reasons I like his work so much.

A Female President isn't necessarily a Feminist President

The Washington Post came out with this shocker yesterday. Gasp! Some feminists don't like Hillary Clinton! But she's a woman. We have to be behind that, right?

Not exactly. A FEMINIST in the white house is the goal. So is Clinton a feminist? NOW thinks so. She is the first first lady to have a postgraduate degree, and the first to maintain a full-time career outside of her husband's, according to Salon. And she kept her maiden name until it supposedly cost Bill Clinton his second term as governor of Arkansas.

I think the real question is: can a feminist stay true to his or her beliefs and get ahead in politics? Hillary is a good politician. But is she still the woman who equated marriage to slavery (it's historically accurate)? Did she "stand by her man" because she wanted to? Or because she wanted to maintain her career? (I have to call out those feminists who baldly accuse her of this, though. She's allowed to make a personal choice even if it doesn't fit in the feminist paradigm. Because that's what it is - a PERSONAL decision. That whole situation was ridiculously public for a private affair.)

Another interesting quote from the Washington Post article: "Women who do nothing to enact feminist policies will be elected and backlash will flourish. I can hear the refrain now: 'They've finally gotten a woman in the White House, so why are feminists still whining about equal pay?"

This is from an article written by Lisa Jervis, co-founder of Bitch Magazine. She's responding to this assumption that a woman president will get support from feminists. She's right, but I don't know if it would be a problem with Hillary. That's what we need to find out.

I didn't answer any questions here, but I'll end with this: if we vote for Clinton because she's a woman, we're no better than those who vote only for white men. I think Clinton's female attributes are part of her personality, and yes, that goes into our decision about who our next president is. But electing someone just because of their sex or race is ridiculous. If Hillary stands strong on issues she clearly believes in - choice, equal pay, etc - I'll vote for her. If she continues to make decisions like her vote on the Iraq War, I won't. Seems simple.

Kicking Ass

Well, this cheered me up a little after my Halloween tirade.

Who's number one on Pajiba's list of Ass-Kicking Heroines? That's right, my girl Buffy. Anyone who hasn't seen the show is probably laughing right now. But seriously, it's a wonderful show. Feminists, fan-boys, action-adventure lovers, and sci-fi geeks. The show is like food for them. And I didn't even mention the fact that it's incredibly well-written.

But this isn't just a gush-post. What really made me smile was the introduction to the list:

"This was supposed to be a Halloween Horror Heroine guide, but it’s been crafted into a fusion that includes kick-ass chicks of the sci-fi and comic genres for a few reasons: 1) These genres are incestuous; many films, like Terminator (a film that actually scared the metallic liquid out of me upon its first viewing), are hybrids of horror, action, and sci-fi genres and sub-genres; 2) chicks in horror movies are generally portrayed as weak-willed, simpering damsels who can’t do much but unwittingly impale themselves; and 3) in rare cases where females are allowed to kick some horror keister, their characters are largely one-dimensional Tn’A jigglers. Consequently, most lead female characters in horror flicks don’t qualify for the “Ass-Kicking” heroine title, so heroines have been borrowed from the action/sci-fi realm."

So if women are helpless and sexy in horror movies, maybe it makes sense that on Halloween, the night when the world is horror, women go for sex. Maybe we're all just playing a role. In which case, I stand by my tirade below.

Bemoaning Halloween

I've never understood it. People get dressed up, get free candy. Other people drive around and smash mailboxes. Others throw eggs at houses (for no clear reason that I can see). And women compete to find the sexiest costume they can think of.

First: Halloween. Don't understand the draw. Sure, it's exciting to scare yourself. It's an excuse to party, get drunk on weird orange liquor. But you have to wear a costume, put on make-up. Why?

I know this is subjective. Don't like candy, don't like bats, don't like Halloween. And I think it's the only reason pumpkins still exist in the US. Not that pumpkins wouldn't grow without Halloween, but what else do we use pumpkins for? I mean, really?

I get that it's a chance for people to be someone else for a night. A chance for people to be clever or make fun of politicians with their costumes. But why (WHY) does it seem like the perfect night for women to wear nothing? What's clever or interesting about that? What are you going to be? A cat? Britney Spears? Random sexy girl?

And that brings me to the worse offense of all. Because of this response to Halloween, the costume shops have turned everything "sexy."

I mean, what's next. Sexy Girl Beaver?

I don't normally care what people wear. But if an adult is going to wear a costume, I feel like it should be a clever one. Why do women insist on falling back on the traditional? Be creative, ladies! Please. Or don't. I mean, a witch costume would be good. Just not a "sexy" witch costume.

Okay, I realize I sound like an ass. I'm not offended by short skirts or tight outfits. I just feel like women (and girls) are selling themselves short. Hey, if it's a creative and sexy costume, I'm all for it. I just hate this costume travesty we've just accepted. Cats aren't sexy, and "sexy" isn't a costume. I just want some creativity! Be sexy, I don't care! Just don't be "sexy" for Halloween.

October Awareness

This AlterNet article got me thinking. I don't think the article makes it's point very well, but it's something I've been thinking about for awhile.

The point of the article: October is the "awareness month" for both breast cancer and domestic violence. According to the article, we ignore domestic violence because breast cancer is sexier. You know...because of the boobs.

I agree. Pink ribbons abound and...well...does domestic violence even have a ribbon?

Yes, in fact. A quick Google search - purple. Wear a purple ribbon and a few people might know you're supporting victims of abuse.

First point of contention - purple and pink? Are we seriously resorting to baby girl colors? Plus, purple for domestic abuse victims? Purple? The color of bruises? This is the least of our problems, I know, but it's still a little ironic. Or sad. Or both.

Second - yes, breast cancer gets more press. It's hot. Like AIDS. Ugh. It makes me sick that disease has been American-ified. But shit. It gets people to donate money. For research. Right?

Some more than others. Let's put it this way - if you're going to donate, it's better for everyone if you don't buy a ribbon or a hat. Just give the money to the charity. Oh, and stay away from the American Breast Cancer Foundation, the Strang Cancer Prevention Center, and the Walker Cancer Research Institute.

So does publicity/popularity for one disease take away money from diseases with less zazz? Are we too focused on saving boobs that we overlook the psyche of the abused?

I don't know. But the more I think about the two, there are a lot of similarities between breast cancer and spousal abuse. Survivors form strong support groups and want to help others get through what they went through. Both can kill. The victims of both are overwhelmingly women. Both started out as "personal" problems and are gaining focus in a broader realm (SEE: women are the majority of victims).

But - breast cancer could have a cure. Could any amount of research eradicate spousal abuse? I am not in anyway saying domestic violence charities can't do a tremendous amount of good. But it's more about the services - shelter, counseling, etc. Maybe it's the research, the race to the finish line we love to give our money to. "Find a cure." You know.

And, yes, we love a nice, clean face to our charities. That's why AIDS has lost panache even though it's still prevalent in Africa.

And we love boobs. Bottom line: people are giving money to charity. That's a good thing. And awareness months? I don't think they really do anyone any good.

New skin, new purpose

It's time this blog got some focus. No more BCOOs, no more Wallstrips (go to Wallstrip.com to get your fix - I'm writing a lot of them now). This blog is pure ladies. Women. Women's rights (or lack thereof), cool women doing cool things, etc.

I know there are a lot of great ones out there. And I have (and will) quote them a lot. But this is what I care about and what I'm interested in, so there you go.

Hope all one of you will stay tuned. I'll try to post more often.

Does the good news make the bad news hurt any less?

Good news first: Portland, Maine is awesome!

Okay, so I'm pretty partial to the Portland on the other side of the country, but Maine deserves some major thumbs in the up direction.

King Middle School, in Portland, will have birth control and STD education onsite.

Okay, so it sounds a little more shocking than it really is. An independently operated health care center already exists at the school, but they're now allowed to administer immunizations, and physicals, as well as the little pink baby-preventing pills to middle-schoolers.

Of course, some parents are outraged, in the fist-to-the-sky, why I would-a, do-nothing kind of way. Surprisingly, most are okay with it. What, we're letting our children get an education and teaching them how to be safe and no one's bombing the clinic? It's an outrage!

And we might be able to count on our new chief birth control officer (officially, acting deputy assistant secretary for population affairs) to correct this aberration on the face of society. Susan Orr may soon take birth control away from all of us. With her track record, how could she just sit by and watch all those whores have sex willy nilly?

Happy Birthday Wallstrip. Bang!

Kidneys and rainbows

Fun with Post-its

Navigation and Robots on Wallstrip

The gift no one wants

Lindsay is awesome. I wrote the intro. (ish)

Smell It

Nuevo Wallstrip

New Wallstrip

Wow, good actors and editing really made this show wonderful. Nice work, guys (and girl)!

BCOO: The Fall, Camus

The confession of an existentialist. That's what this book is. A monologue that takes place in a bar and the surrounding areas.

His fall= The Fall = Garden of Eden fall.

I enjoyed it. I find Camus' outlook pretty bleak. Existentialism makes life pointless and leaves people who believe in it free and captive at the same time. Free to make noise and watch it's effect on the world, but unable to mean anything by it. Unable to care.

Anyway, on to freaky, Portland pastures. Next up, a close look at freaks and the people they love, Geek Love, by Katherine Dun. It's a book Chuck Palahniuk talks about all the time. Definitely has the same eyes wide open feel: the main character is a female albino dwarf with a hump.

Wallstrip: WW

Oops - slacking on the Wallstrip Posts

I've been forgetting to post my Wallstrips. Here are the latest two that I wrote. I'm also in the Tim Hortons show. Wasn't planned and I'm horrible and ugly, but I'm there.

BCOO: Slow Man, J.M. Coetzee

Ah, love me some Coetzee.

Slow Man is perfect for the writing student. Basically, the climax happens at the beginning, then someone has to come in to force things to keep moving. That someone is a Coetzee creation: a writer named Elizabeth Costello.

The writer places herself into the story, claiming the main character "came to her." She never really explains herself, but keeps forcing the character to do things. She always gives the guy a choice, but makes suggestions as to how to be more active in life.

This surface stuff is pure gravy. The real story is underneath. It's all about love. The main character wants love, wants to be loved, but he doesn't accept the idea of love. Classic tragedy.

Can you tell I loved it? Coetzee is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors.

Yes, I know. I wrote "love" a lot. Deal with it.

Almost done with: The Fall, by Camus.

BCOO: Memoirs of a Geisha, by Arthur Golden

I know more about geisha than I ever wanted to know.

I am really glad to be done with this book. I loved the language in the beginning, but that only took me so far. The central character had no actual character. None that I could find, anyway. It felt like she was simply a tool to teach me about geisha. And I don't want to know about geisha. Maybe I'm forcing my ideals on Japanese culture, but it seems like a completely degrading and socially repugnant practice.

Of course, it didn't help that the author is from Tenessee and male (that's him, on the left of this post). He didn't examine any of the implications of geisha-ism. Maybe that's why people like it.

I'm not saying a male author can't write women characters well - Wally Lamb manages to create a truly believable, extremely troubled woman in She's Come Undone - but this one completely missed the mark for me. He lets the main character think someone is disgusting, but he doesn't let her delve into the depths of her emotion. It just wasn't authentic for me.

As far as the Japanese thing, sure, he has an MA in Japanese History, speaks Mandarin Chinese, and lived in Japan for awhile. Now he lives in Boston, and has written a book tinged with American male sentiment. I didn't buy it.

Next: Slow Man, by J.M. Coetzee. I'm thrilled. I loved Disgrace.

My Wedding

Yes. We did it. And Wallstrip filmed it. Still Amanda Elend, just Mrs. now.

Wallstrip: GPRO

New Wallstrip: Malaysia ETF

I learned a lot (ETF, etc.), but we had to go for the LCD, i.e. "Where the fuck is Malaysia?"

BCOO Returns: Diary, a Novel, by Chuck Palahniuk

Just finished Diary, a novel, by Chuck Palahniuk.

I love him. He is unique and can make the most disgusting words beautiful (and vice versa). I didn't like this book as much as I liked Survivor, but I'm still on the Palahniuk love ride.

This book is hard to describe without giving too much away. It is written like...a diary...surprise! A poor woman meets a rich guy and pays a rather hefty price for her happiness.

The novel relies heavily on magical realism and has a distinct ring of fairy tale by the end. I think that's a Palahniuk "thing." The worlds in his novels are always at least hyperbolic, if not fantastical.

I'm sort of rambling here. I JUST finished it, so I haven't had much time to digest. Can't wait to read another of his. Go Portland! (he lives there)

Favorite quotes: "Because everything is important. Every detail. We just don't know why yet."
"What you don't understand, you can make mean anything."
"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness."

I'm going to take a little time to catch up on my magazines. I have a Bitch, a Paste, and I think two Busts. Hmmm...a bitch, a paste, and a bust. Sounds like a bad sitcom.

Can I have an abortion please?

State legislators in Ohio want to give fathers a FINAL say before a woman gets an abortion. And they mean final.

Before having an abortion, a woman must have the written consent of the father. THE father. The man she slept with. If she doesn't know who the father is (maybe the man who raped her?), she must submit a list of "possible" fathers. The physician would have to conduct paternity tests and, after determining who the father is, get his signed consent.

WHAT THE FUCK??!!! I understand the desire to give men a say, but I'm not sure I agree with it. I know it affects men's lives, but not nearly as much as it affects women's. I have to admit, I feel like it's the woman's body, she gets to decide.

All that aside: a list? possible fathers? paternity tests? Imagine what that does to the woman.

And again, what if the woman was raped? What the fuck is she supposed to do then?

This CAN'T go anywhere. It's just another bunch of guys, led by Rep. John Adams, who think they have the right to decide what women can and can't do with their bodies. I don't know, though. With the current climate, anything is possible.

Hang on to your wood: New wallstrip

Celebrities are dying, politicians are in surgery, people have sex to burn calories, and I finally have time to post

Why are so many celebrities dying? Is it the heat? I thought Tammy Faye was immortal.

Dick Cheney was president for two hours and five minutes, while Bush was having a colonoscopy.

They were obviously playing tag: Cheney went in to get his defibrillator replaced. Desperate not to miss out, John Roberts had a seizure and ended up in the hospital. Everyone's fine.

Broadsheet just posted this, which profiles an article about the 237 reasons people have sex. Among the more ridiculous: to get rid of a headache, feel closer to god, change the topic of conversation, and my favorite, burn calories. There is still hope: the top reason was "I was attracted to the person."

Personally, I have sex to make babies. All you people reading this are morally dead to me if you don't feel the same way. Babies. I LOVE babies.

Back in the real world, my beloved Broadsheet also reported that Second Life is a refuge for the under-educated teen. Second Life may help your sex life, with a new island dedicated to sex ed. According to Broadsheet:

There's a screening room for movies about HIV/AIDS, an outdoor classroom where students can watch presentations from sex educators, a newsstand that updates itself every 10 minutes with the top two sexual health stories from Yahoo News, an interactive game/quiz area where students can test their knowledge, and a "sky box" where visitors can have one-on-one sessions with counselors. There's even a vending machine where visitors can buy virtual condoms. The goal, as the explanatory video puts it, is to help students learn how to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancies, and promote equitable sexual relationships.

Free, independent, intelligent sex ed? Right on, Second Life.

Just found out Jenna Elfman is a Scientologist. Shit!

For MUCH more important breaking news: the UN is sending 26,000 international forces to Darfur. FINAL-FUCKING-LY. Thank you Gordon Brown. Here's the story. As Allyn Brooks-LaSure, a spokesman from Save Darfur said, "This isn't the time to pop champagne." But it's SOMETHING. It's a start.

Back in the banalities of every day life, I finished Anna Karenina. I enjoyed the social/political commentary, and the characters were wonderfully contrasting and tied into Tolstoy's criticism of Russian society. The novel is full of characters who are struggling to be themselves - a constant struggle in everyone's life, I think - so it really hit home.

Also joined the rest of the world in finishing Harry Potter. Sad it's over. Because of my transition-full life, I couldn't get my hands on any of the earlier ones while I was reading, so I spent a lot of time trying to remember what happened in the last book. No matter, I still loved it. I do wish they had brought in the idea of the deathly hallows earlier, though. It was a lot to discover in one book.

I'm reading Diary, by Chuck Palahniuk now. I love him. His style is unlike anyone's I've read.

Love for Janitors: New Wallstrip

Wallstrip: CXW

This guy is hilarious.

Wallstrip: FLIR

The guy is Lindsay's boyfriend, Aaron. He was also the Jack in the Box employee in JIB.

New Wallstrip - dead babies and MIL

Dupont: New Wallstrip

Update on Gasparilla Girl

First she was raped, then she was jailed, then she was denied Plan B. Now? The police may be accusing her of making up the rape.

In an article ridiculously titled to add insult to injury, "Alleged Gasparilla rape victim speaks out," Bay News 9 reports that "Betsy" is speaking out. The police deny their denial of the rape, but Betsy says she's been accused of trying to make some guys feel bad.
They wouldn't walk her to her car.

Yikes.

Here's the article.

Snarky comments and sticky floors: New Wallstrip

Lindsay is a Hot Geek: New Wallstrip

Wallstrip is the Next Generation

My latest wallstrip script

Wallstrip Loves Kittens

I love the disgusting kitten pictures they found. Nice touch.

A Little More Venting on the Post Below

Here's a nice breakdown on the same subject from Broadsheet:

Judge bans the word "rape" from sexual assault trial.
Nebraska District Judge Jeffre Cheuvront granted a request by the defense team to ban the words "rape," "sexual assault," "victim," "assailant" and "sexual assault kit" from the courtroom, reports Dahlia Lithwick. Oh, and jurors won't even be told about the banned words. "You needn't be a radical legal feminist to cringe at the idea of judges ordering rape complainants to obliterate from their testimony any language that signifies an assault," writes Lithwick. "At worst, that judge is ordering her to lie. At best, he is asking her to play at being a human thesaurus: thinking up coded ways to describe to the jury what she believes to have happened."

Thanks for summing it up well, Broadsheet. Might I add - this is America.

I can't leave this one alone

Here are some highlights from the JournalStar.com article:

Banned words debated in sex assault case
BY CLARENCE MABIN / Lincoln Journal Star

Tory Bowen says she knows what happened to her on the morning of Oct. 31, 2004.But she won’t be able tell her story to jurors — at least not in a way that’s truthful to her, she says — because a judge’s order bars witnesses from using words like “rape” and “sexual assault” in the trial of Pamir Safi, who is accused of sexually assaulting Bowen.

Safi

“In my mind, what happened to me was rape,” said Bowen, 24. “I want the freedom to be able to point (to Safi) in court and say, ‘That man raped me.’”

Last month, Lancaster County District Judge Jeffre Cheuvront denied a motion by prosecutors that would have prohibited Safi’s attorneys from using words like “sex” and “intercourse” when describing the encounter between Safi and Bowen.

The Lancaster County Attorney’s Office had argued the words would imply Bowen consented to have sex.Cheuvront also has sustained an earlier motion by defense attorneys barring the words “rape” and “sexual assault kit.”

In Bowen’s opinion, Cheuvront’s ruling means she will have to lie on the witness stand.“The word ‘sex’ implies consent,” she said. “I never once would describe (what happened) as sex. He’s making me commit perjury.”

Clarence Mock, one of Safi’s attorneys, said Cheuvront made the rulings to keep the trial fair.

The word “rape,” is not a legal term, he said. “Sexual assault” is, but whether a defendant committed that crime is a question for a jury to answer based on evidence at trial, Mock said.

“Under the rules of evidence, witnesses can’t reach legal conclusions,” he said.

“Trials are competing narratives of what happened,” Mock continued. “They should not turn on politicized hyperbole. They should turn on the facts.

“... Using words like ‘rape’ creates unfair prejudices for defendants and invades the (duties) of the jury.”

-----

Holy shit. I can't believe this is true.

Well, I have a moment, so why not...

Fox and CBS have refused to air this Trojan ad:



As this New York Times article points out, both networks are perfectly willing to air Trojan commercials focused on preventing STDs. In fact, in a letter to Trojan, Fox admitted that they would not air the ad because it focused on pregnancy prevention.

Yes, let's just ignore the very real problem of unwanted pregnancy. Scaring people with the promise of disease should do the trick. Maybe they'll prevent pregnancy and they won't even know it!

CBS would only say they did not find it appropriate for their audiences (audiences, as SaveRoe.com points out, that watch The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show).

This ad doesn't smell completely rosy. As Broadsheet points out, the depiction of all men as pigs is a little suspect. Though the argument could be made that all men on the prowl without a condom are swine. But the point that really gets me is the assumption that only men should have a condom conscience. Women should carry them, men should carry them, and, yes, pigs should carry them.

It's good to vent. Thanks.

Wallstrip

BCOO: Lord of the Flies, by William Golding

Ah, it's about time. When there's actual work to do, it's hard to justify a blog entry. There's tons of shit happening politically right now, but I feel obligated to make this about my nasty reading habit. Yep, I got the monkey on my back and he's making hog's-head popsicle sticks. Did that track? Oh, brain is fried... Yeah, I really just want to get the book off of my desk.

Lord of the Flies...I enjoyed the journey into human instinct at its most basic level. I missed out on the book in high school, so I figured I should see what made my partner go "ooh." Well, I'm not a guy, so I think that cut the "ooh" down to an "oh." Plus, I'm not in high school.

The narrator gave me the most pause. He/she/it brought me out of the world by switching mindset. The narrator would alternate between a boy's intelligence and consciousness and an adult's. There's probably some great reason for this that I missed. I admittedly did not spend much time thinking about the book. If anyone would care to enlighten me, it would be welcome.

Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy is next. It will be awhile before I'll post about that. I'll probably be a New Yorker by then. Hopefully, I'll get in a couple posts in the meantime. So much to rant about, so little time!

Wii Love Wallstrip

Why? Why couldn't I just let go of the pun? Anyway, here's my latest wallstrip.

Hi, I'm wallstrip

This one was a lot of fun to write.



Though I have friends who DESPISE Blackboard (teachers), the company is doing really well on the stock market. Probably because it's the only one of it's kind that's getting anywhere globally.

I love Joss Whedon

Yes, the creator of Buffy, Angel, Firefly, and Toy Story 2 has done it again. This morning, not only did I receive a writing tip e-mail about the first episode of Buffy and all of its greatness, I was greeted with this on my RSS reader. I don't normally post whole articles on this page, but Broadsheet wrapped up Whedon's blog so well...

"What is wrong with women?"

If you ask almighty geek/feminist icon Joss Whedon, you don't need to seek out exports from Kurdistan -- the ghastly cellphone videos of Dua Khalil's savage public execution, that is -- to see brutal misogyny up close. We've got Hollywood right here. "The trailer [for the controversial movie "Captivity"] resembles nothing so much as the CNN story on Dua Khalil," he writes at Whedonesque (a blog about him and his work where he occasionally posts). "Pretty much all you learn is that Elisha Cuthbert is beautiful, then kidnapped, inventively, repeatedly and horrifically tortured, and that the first thing she screams is 'I'm sorry.'"

Whedon does, of course, know the difference between fact and fiction. But in this passionate, moving, positively reeling -- and ultimately inspiring -- response to Dua Khalil's murder, he makes a strong, strong case for that Hollywood-Iraq continuum. "What is wrong with women?" he writes. "I mean wrong. Physically. Spiritually. Something unnatural, something destructive, something that needs to be corrected. How did more than half the people in the world come out incorrectly? ... I have yet to find a culture that doesn't buy into it. Women's inferiority -- in fact, their malevolence -- is as ingrained in American popular culture as it is anywhere they're sporting burkhas. I find it in movies, I hear it in the jokes of colleagues, I see it plastered on billboards, and not just the ones for horror movies. Women are weak. Women are manipulative. Women are somehow morally unfinished ... And the logical extension of this line of thinking is that women are, at the very least, expendable."

Go read the rest. (Here's dessert.)

-- Lynn Harris

----

How can you not adore this talented, witty, socially-conscious feminist man? For those who are Whedon-ignorant, stop laughing at the name Buffy and get on it. High school as setting for personal as well as literal hell? How can you not adore it?

BCOO: Story Time

Oh, Meggin, I'm so sorry if you're reading this.

I did not like this book. Maybe I wasn't in the correct mindset for a young adult book, maybe I'm too cynical, but I wanted nothing more than to get through to the end. I didn't like the writing, I thought the story was disjointed, I thought the dialogue was forced.

That being said, the idea was certainly creative. A gothic library building houses a magnet school which teaches TBC: test-based curriculum (the setting for a pretty blatant condemnation of teaching to the test - while I agree with the sentiment, the execution was poor). Not only is the school located in the basement, it's haunted. By...uh...book people? It was never completely explained who was doing the haunting and why.

I don't want to spend too long on a book I don't like. I'm going for young again in my next book: Lord of the Flies, by William Golding.

New wallstrip - Molson Coors Brewing Company (mmm...beer)

Homer said it best.

BCOO: Bait and Switch and Brave New World

Oops. I got a little behind.

Bait and Switch, by Ehrenreich was a really interesting read. I fell in love with her after reading Nickel and Dimed, where she attempts to live on minimum wage as a waitress, a Wal-Mart employee, and a maid.

Bait and Switch did not disappoint. In this one, Ehrenreich goes undercover into the white collar world, discovering a new way to (not) get by in America. It's fascinating and entertaining.

And I finally read Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley.

Wow. I loved it, as I fully expected to. Everyone should read this (read 1984 first, though).

Not too much detail here, because I'm tired and it's been a little while since I've finished these. I'm reading a book now called Story Time by Edward Bloor. It's a young adult novel recommended by a friend. Should be good enough to tide me over before the next Harry Potter.

wallstrip: CYNO

The guy in the interview is hilarious. Adam and I went back and forth a bit on the interview script, and it looks like it turned out well. Of course, the casting didn't hurt - the guy made me laugh out loud at something I've read at least ten times.

Veto Man!

He uses his powers for evil, but he believes he is doing good. Is there anything more dangerous??? Find out, next week!

Bush warned Congress he would veto the Iraq spending bill and he did, no shocker there. But now he has a taste for it. He's veto-thirsty. Thursday, he let Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid know that he would veto ... well, basically anything that ensured women's rights to control their own bodies.

Bush wrote a two-page letter to the speaker and majority leader, threatening a veto against anything that (I'm not making this up) "allow[ed] taxpayer dollars to be used for the destruction of human life.” (my emphasis)
I think I'm just gonna let that sit there. Okay, I can't resist a little list of Bush's life destruction. Guantanamo prisoners, the Iraqis, illegal immigrants, Abu Ghraib prisoners (and other not-so-public camps that I'm sure exist), Joe Wilson and his wife, abstinence-educated children, creationism-educated children, UNeducated children, and, hey, what about those unwanted children and resentful women pushed into motherhood? They'll be flooding the streets if Bush has anything to do with it.

Can Veto Man get away with his hypocrisy? Will he keep telling women they can't make educated decisions by themselves regarding their own bodies? Will his evil spread to other countries when he vetoes a pending bill that would end a ban on DISCUSSING abortion at family planning clinics in developing nations? Keep your eyes on the skies. Wherever women are in need, Veto Man will be nearby to keep them that way.