DC Madam: A Very Personal Eulogy From Susie Bright

Susie Bright, author of a bunch of great sexual politics books and all-around awesome lady has a touching post up on her blog about Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the DC Madam who hung herself recently.

I have to quote the whole thing, because it offers tremendous insight into Palfrey, and it's a wonderful picture of a woman seeking to understand another woman:

Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the "DC Madam" whose call-girl service got busted in the cross-hairs of partisan payback, has committed suicide. She hung herself at her mother's home in Tarpon Springs, Florida.

Susie's talk with Jeane, 2007 (mp3): Link

Transcript of DJP interview: Link

Jeane, I am so sorry. I know you swore to me that you'd never serve another term in prison for prostitution, or anything else. You almost lost your eyesight the first time. I'm sure you asked your lawyers if there was any hope for your sentencing, and I guess it must have looked bleak.

I know how pissed you were. This was an act of revenge, and I know who you're determined to haunt.

You were righteously furious at all the men who "walked away."

I'm sure that goes quite a ways back, but it certainly includes the esteemed gents on your client list: Louisiana fundamentalist, Senator David Vitter; Abstinence Ambassador Randall Tobias, who squashed AIDS funds all over the world; "Shock and Awe" war profiteer, Harlan Ullman.

And that was just the expendable layer. None of them were charged with anything; all are living quite comfortably, in particular because they have no conscience whatsoever.

Was Jeane suicidal, in the first place? Yes, but I'd describe that carefully. She wasn't irrational to think she wouldn't survive another round in a penitentiary; her health was poor. And she was brittle, the kind of person who is aware of her considerable intellect and education, but who finds herself in unlucky and vulnerable situations over and over again.

She was gullible to the wrong kinda guys, the kind of men who turned her out when she was young, whom she mistakenly placed faith in when she was looking for love, or a safe harbor. She's the kind of woman who should've been groomed for university when she was young, and cultivated for her bright mind and sensitivities. Instead, she was exploited and wasted— and her bitterness, her depression, was a result of that cruel awareness.

She tried to "go straight" after the first round in prison, and of course, was undermined by the typical prejudices against her record. She became more angry about the hypocrites, and determined to beat them at their own game. But it's clear that when Cheney bigwigs were on her tail, she wasn't going to beat their surveillance and manipulations.

Why doesn't everyone kill themselves when they're facing hard odds like Jeane did? Well, that's the million-karma question. All I can offer at this point, is painfully prescient rhetoric: Hell hath no fury like a smart woman scorned.... and justice has NOT been served.

Hey, There Is A War Going On In Afghanistan...But

Yes, people are actually fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan. I know, crazy, right?

Actually, the term "people" doesn't really apply here. According to the Washington Post, it's only supposed to be men fighting over there.

That's right, as affirmed by Bush in 2005, women are still not allowed to fight in combat zones. Kind of hard in this "war" where every place is a combat zone.

18-year old Pfc. Monica Brown, a medic, has brought this ridiculous policy to light. She was in Afghanistan on a mission with a bunch of guys, they ran into trouble, and she did her job. She received a silver star for her bravery (the second woman to receive the third-highest honor since World War II), and then she was relieved from duty.

Of course: women aren't supposed to go on missions. But according to the article, most military officials believe the rule is antiquated and inapplicable to this war. In this case, they needed a female medic for female civilians. And Pfc. Monica Brown stepped up.

The accounts of Brown's behavior during the attack tend to range from "I can't believe a girl did that," to "She was just one of the boys." Her colleagues either look at her as an anomaly, an 'other', or a 'trooper'. They never considered her a regular soldier.



But it's not the army's fault. The rule forces them to look at her differently. Women in the military have a hard time being accepted. There are many accounts of rape and abuse. Maybe things could start to change if women had the same right to fight as everyone else.

If women want to enter the army, if they pass all the tests and meet the same requirements as everyone else, they should be able to fight. It's not for every woman, just like it's not for every man, but a lady should be able to get some action if she wants to.

And, jesus christ, this woman was really good at it. She didn't want to be pulled out. They're letting stupid and old people fight, why won't they let women? If this nebulous war on terror encourages military officials to request a change in policy, at least it will be good for something.

"Pink" Viagra: Why's It Always Gotta Be Pink?

The search for the little blue pill's counterpart for women continues. I wonder if they made Viagra blue just so women would know which pill is theirs.

Our Bodies, Ourselves recently posted an article expressing concerns about the marketing of a woman's sexual dysfunction drug.

They also linked to another post about the "feminist view on female sexual dysfunction."

Apparently, my sistren believe that, should scientists discover a "pink" Viagra, commercials would target women who are just not interested in sex. Young, stressed, busy, unfortunate women.

Okay, I can see that. But is that a reason not to discover this drug? Many older women experience a lower sex drive because of a MEDICAL PROBLEM. Why shouldn't they use something to help them?

There are men that are too busy, stressed, and depressed to have sex, too. No one's worried that they'll feel like something's wrong with them.

I understand the concern. I get it. Marketing campaigns could easily try to make women feel bad for not wanting to have sex. And I'm sure they won't use the female version of Bob Dole for their commercials.But Viagra is for dudes who want to have sex and just can't get it up. This drug should be for the same thing. Women don't have a physical indicator that they're ready for sex, but a drug that increases blood flow to the genitals could increase lubrication and relax the vaginal muscles.

According to Discovery, around 43% of women experience sexual dysfunction, compared to 31% of men. If a woman wants to want sex more than she does, she should have the same tools men have to take care of that. Sure, drug commercials manipulate people. But why is this one more heinous than...say...Prozac commercials that make everyone think they're depressed? Yes, this drug targets women. But isn't that the point?

Isn't this "concern" equivalent to the concern that birth control pills encourage women to have sex more? Why do we think women are more easily manipulated than men?

Lesbians Suing Lesbians

According to CNN, three residents of Lesbos have filed a lawsuit against the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, the first gay rights group registered in Greece to use the word "lesbian" in their name.

At least one of the plaintiffs is male. Not sure about the other two.

The name of the association apparently "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos. They're also known as lesbians.

But don't worry, it's "not an aggressive act against gay women," Dimitris Lambrou (one of the plaintiffs) said. "Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like. We just want (the group) to remove the word lesbian from their title."

But he also said: "My sister can't say she is a Lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou. "Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos." (emphasis mine)

Why, exactly, can't his sister say she's a Lesbian? Does she really think people won't understand what she means?

Sappho was born in Lesbos, and yes, it's where lesbians get their name, but come on.

Should I sue Tampax because I'm from Tampa? We're known as Tampons (some would spell that Tampans, but this spelling could make me some money, apparently).

And if your sister is so concerned, why doesn't she sue? Something seems wrong here. A lot of things seem wrong here.

Lambrou also maintains that Sappho wasn't gay, though many of her poems refer to passionate love affairs with women. "But even if we assume she was," he said, "how can 250,000 people of Lesbian descent -- including women -- be considered homosexual?"

Newsflash: THEY'RE NOT. Sure, if you're that worried about it, you might have to explain a little bit, but suing this association seems like a futile gesture. The name is out there. Deal with it.

An Athens court will hear the case on June 10th.

I Think I Threw Up A Little

The concept for Pauper to Princes is bad enough alone.

"8 ordinary girls" are placed into a house where they learn etiquette and culture. We all know how tea parties can boost a woman's self esteem. And it all took place in my home state, Florida.

Yes, that alone is enough to make me throw up in my mouth a little bit. But Tampa Bay's 10 reported that these women were locked in the house. They were not allowed to leave or use their cell phones. They broke out over the weekend and called the police. The director of this lovely show, Marc Brilleman, has been arrested for false imprisonment.

The exec producer denies allegations that Brilleman locked the door and told them they couldn't leave.

Ugh. Reality TV just gets better and better.

MobLogic Gets a Feminist Bump

I don't speak for anyone at MobLogic when I say this, but this week there were some great feminist-y shows. I always enjoy sinking my teeth into a MobLogic blog, but I was especially psyched to write about the fact that porn is legal but prostitution is not and a study that confirms the g-spot's existence, just not for every woman. I should say that I have nothing to do with picking the shows.

Here are the shows. I love my job!

"Rape" is a bad word

Well, for the courts at least. Last June, I wrote about a woman who refused to abide by the rules the judge set forth in her trial. The rule she broke? She used the word "rape" in her rape trial.

Sure, it's a powerful word. The judge thought it was too powerful, and that it would sway the jury. So a woman who had been raped was supposed to call this pivotal moment in her life "intercourse" or "sex."

The trial ended in a hung jury (maybe they were confused by all the euphemisms) and Terry Bowen, the woman who is fighting for her right to say "rape," sued. This is what the appeals court had to say (via Feministing):

The lawsuit argued that Lancaster County District Judge Jeffre Cheuvront violated Tory Bowen's constitutional rights in barring her from using certain words during her testimony in the trial, in which she said Pamir Safi sexually assaulted her.

While Cheuvront barred Bowen from using phrases and words like "rape kit" and "victim" in her testimony, he allowed Safi's attorneys to use words such as "sex" and "intercourse" when describing the encounter between Safi and Bowen.

Oh good. So now he'll ban the words "murder" and "robbery" from the courts, right? We wouldn't want to confuse the jury. What about "knife" is that safe to say? How about "he forced me to have sex"? Is that more appropriate?

Language is powerful (as we've seen demonstrated by the Bush years) and this Nebraska judge is abusing this power. This appeals court decision makes me want to scream.

Rape needs to be shoved into people's faces. It's a fact of life that we conveniently ignore. It's a symptom of a much larger problem: men (and sometimes women) in society who feel the need to demonstrate their power. Maybe that's why Jennifer Baumgardner is selling this t-shirt:The only way to start fixing the problem is by talking about it. If we can't even do that in a courtroom, where the hell are we?

Fox News is Fucked Up

I know. You're shocked. Fox News? Horribly racist, sexist, and nurse-ist? No way! Here's the proof, my friends. (via Feministing)



It's obvious that this show is some sad attempt at a comedian round-table. Fox News Friday Night Stand-Up Extravaganza or a sad, bizarro attempt at Daily Show humor. (Apparently, it's called "Red Eye with Greg Gutman) But holy shit! They took an important news story and turned it into laugh-a-palooza. And yes, this is a real story. Nurses in Spain are being forced to wear mini-skirts for bonuses. Unbelievably oppressive and sexist, but look what I'm talking about? Fox News. Guess they won this one.

I don't know when I'm going to stop being surprised by the sexism and utter ridiculousness that is Fox News.

This is What a Feminist Commericial Looks Like

Yes, it's a commercial, but how many feminist commercials are out there today? I only wish it was on TV. There are so many people out there with the wrong idea about what feminism is today. You are a feminist as long as you believe in equality for everyone.

I like this commercial, even if it is a little cheesy. It makes me feel all warm inside.

Stick to Thin Mints

Wow. The Girl Scouts are trying desperately to convince girls to be joiners by...letting them be themselves...-ish?

Faced with a 'nonjoiner' society, the Girl Scouts are making major changes, teaching how to keep a busy schedule and letting girls wear their own white shirt under the typical vest or sash with badges.

Oh, this is so sad. A conformist, antiquated organization is being left out in the cold as girls become individuals. Maybe some people had good experiences in Girl Scouts, but I was miserable. It forces girls with nothing in common together to compete for who has the most badges and who can sell the most cookies.

And don't think the Mama Scouts don't see that. They're working to encourage girls to sell the organization along with the cookies. Hey, they're already at your door, it's a perfect opportunity. Or maybe they'll just start spiking the Samoas. We'll all be Girl Scouts soon...

Dolls Can Get Implants Too!

Okay, so maybe this is all an ironic, social experiment. But I don't think so.

Last month, the Miss Bimbo virtual fashion game launched in the UK. Each girl on the site gets a naked bimbo who they have to dress, pimp, and pervert until they're the "hottest, coolest, most famous bimbo in the whole world."

They compete for bimbo bucks, which they can then apply towards breast implants and facelifts. Those give them bimbo attitudes (popular points), which help them win the 'game'. Oh, and make sure to keep your bimbo "waif thin."

If this is ironic, it is severely misguided irony. The website says the competitors are between the ages of 7 and 17. Children don't understand irony or sarcasm. It's the last thing to fall into place.

But aside from that, the competitors need to give her bimbo bigger breasts, sexy outfits, and rich boyfriends to win this game. 234 515 "bimbos" are competing right now.

There's a sister site in France, Ma Bimbo.

It's only a matter of time before this hits the US. I'm shocked one of us didn't come up with it first.

I have to go cry now.

Is Women's Studies Irrelevant?

A piece in The Independent today focuses on Metropolitan University's decision to stop offering a degree in Women's Studies. Apparently, it represents the irrelevance of feminism, the waning interest in the field, and the end of an era.

I agree that it's horrible that this university has stopped offering the course of study, but is does one university's decision make that much of a difference?

Maybe. I took a bunch of women's studies courses in college, but my college didn't offer a degree in it. This is a definite problem. But I think it's a shift. I think women are still interested in feminist theory, the feminist movement, etc., but I think they want to know how it applies to them. Because it DOES apply to them.

I hope we start seeing a new course of study. Or at least new courses. We're in the third wave of feminism, and it's time schools stepped up to the plate. Look at feminism today vs. yesterday. Look at how feminism IS relevant today. And maybe the schools should take a little more time to promote the field of study.

I might have gotten a degree in women's studies if it had been offered, but I'm not sure it would have been the right choice. Unless you're going to be a feminist scholar or historian, it's not a good choice for the future. Of course, neither is philosophy or history.

I just think women's studies needs a face lift. If we have to change it to gender studies, that's fine. We should look at how both sexes got to where we are today. Maybe students have been swayed by people like Cristina Hoff:

British and American societies are no longer patriarchal and oppressive 'male hegemonies'. But most women's studies departments are predicated on the assumption that women in the West are under siege. What nonsense.

But we need to fight this. It's not nonsense. We're not directly under attack, no. It's under the surface now, and it would be beneficial to society to have women who realize what's happening.

It's sad that the school doesn't think Women's Studies is worth promoting. But hopefully this will give us the opportunity to revamp the program. I took some great classes in school. I'd hate for those opportunities to fall by the wayside.

Lindsay Campbell vs. Silda Wall Spitzer

I commented on the site. Here's a little taste. Go check it out on the site. The discussion's getting REALLY heated.

Lindsay and I debate:

Amanda

A couple beefs with your argument:

1. If she hadn't shown up, if she'd been out at under-funded schools, Slida Wall Spitzer would've been attacked, just like she's being attacked now. This is a lose/lose situation for her. Just imagine: "What a bitch! She can't even support her husband as he apologizes to her!" Here's the headline: "Slida Wall Shuns Disgraced Husband." This is all about his career. If he resigns, she can't do all the good it seems she's trying to do. At least not as easily. (She's trying to convince him not to resign - http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,336688,00.html)
2. What would a visit to under-funded schools do? She'd get press, but for all the wrong reasons.
3. If this was a woman politician and it was her husband standing up there with her, he'd be considered a sensitive, forgiving man. This is how the game is played. It's a silent show of support when someone fucks up.
4. The "downcast eyes" - it looks to me like she was reading his speech along with him. Maybe she helped him write it.
5. In this case, as in the other cases you mentioned, the personal has become political. Slida Wall Spitzer made a personal choice to stand up next to her husband. The implications of her NOT standing up there would've been just as bad.

I like your rage and the discussion it starts, but I'm not going to judge Slida Wall Spitzer for a careful choice she made. Yes, it would've been cool if she had made another choice. Interesting, at the very least. But imagine how many people would've been calling her a bitch if she'd made that other choice. She may have taken the easy, expected way out, but she chose to keep her battle personal by not making any public waves. I can't blame her for that.

lindsaycampbell


"She may have taken the easy, expected way out, but she chose to keep her battle personal by not making any public waves. I can't blame her for that."

Yeah, Amanda, this is the exact part that I find so distressing. If there's no way to keep it personal, then the choice you make can't truly be your own anyway. You have to think about the headlines. And your job and your husbands job. Where is the humanity is all that?

I disagree that the same pressure would be on the husband of a powerful female politician. We've yet to test that out but I think the standard would change.

Amanda

There is no humanity. But it's not Silda Wall Spitzer's fault. It's politics. Games, deception, hypocrisy, it's all in there. Silda Wall Spitzer was essentially doing her job. She could've quit, yes, but she didn't want to. That's her choice.

It's hard to know if a husband would get as much pressure to stand up, but in a world where the positions in this situation were flipped, and Eliot stood next to his wife Silda, I think the reaction would be very different.

STDs for Everyone!

A recent study from the CDC shows that ONE IN FOUR American teenage girls (age 14-19) have STDs, reports the BBC News.

Nearly half of black teens surveyed had at least one STD, while only 20% of white and Mexican-American teens tested positive. This is from a "representative" sample.

The most "popular" STD? HPV. Hmmm...maybe we should get a vaccine for that and make it available to poor people.

I couldn't find the study on the CDC, which worries me. I don't like to just take other people's words for it.

But this is just another sign that we need to teach sex ed in high schools. Abstinence-only education OBVIOUSLY doesn't work. These girls are going to have sex no matter what. Teach them how to protect themselves. We're leaving them defenseless because our president is an Evangelical, and it pisses me off.

According to the BBC, the CDC is recommending mandatory screening and an HPV vaccine. Okay, fine. But why don't we try to solve the problem before it starts? Hand out condoms in the streets, lower the cost of birth control, and TEACH these girls how to keep themselves safe.

ARGH!

The Boobs Save the Day

We can count on FoxNews to report this one.

A Japanese pin-up model has had a legal verdict overturned after successfully arguing her breasts were too big to allow her to squeeze through a hole a man alleged she used to gain entry into his room.

Serena Kozakura was convicted last year of property destruction after a man accused her of kicking in his door and crawling inside to confront him about his activities with another woman, Agence France-Presse reports.

Kozakura won her appeal Monday after the Tokyo High Court agreed her 44-inch bust was indeed too large for her to gain entry through the hole, AFP reports.

"I used to hate my body so much," she told local media, according to the report. "But it was my breasts," she said, that won in court.

Tell me this woman would've gotten off if she just had a really big stomach. I don't think so.

I'm Uber-Late On This One...

Can't say I'm surprised.

MobLogical

This is a little off topic, but the new show I'm blogging for, Moblogic, was born today. The team did an amazing job getting everything together. And Sean Tice blew my mind with his web design. As always, Lindsay is stunning, brilliant, and awesome. (Couldn't think of any more vague adjectives, but she knows I love her.)

Here's a little taste.

Difference...MADE

I love this clip, but it makes me sad as well. Colbert makes all the obvious points for me, but are women really this desperate? And why the hell can't they pay for their own boob jobs?

YIKES.

Antifemipsuedoscience

Another gem from Adam. He calls it "feminasty," but there's nothing femi about this. That's why I went with antifemi- prefix.

In an "article" in today's Washington Post ("We Scream, We Swoon. How Dumb Can We Get?"), Charlotte Allen attempts to discover why women can't admit how stupid they are. Fascinating.

Yes, it's a little disconcerting that there have been "five separate instances in which women fainted at Obama rallies since last September," but I'm not sure I'm convinced it's true (her source is a Connecticut radio talk show host). And if it is true, so the fuck what? Is that evidence that women are weak? Maybe Obama has magical powers. Maybe it was a hot, crowded day. Maybe these women have physical/mental problems. MAYBE you should stop listening to radio talk show hosts.

But don't take my word for it. Let me give you a taste:

I can't help it, but reading about such episodes of screaming, gushing and swooning makes me wonder whether women -- I should say, "we women," of course -- aren't the weaker sex after all. Or even the stupid sex, our brains permanently occluded by random emotions, psychosomatic flailings and distraction by the superficial.

You can close your mouth. Actually...wait...it gets worse. Better just to keep it open.

After disparaging remarks about the popular but unrealistic Grey's Anatomy (because "male" shows likeThe Unit and 24 are so realistic), the pseudo-science enters the stage:

I swear no man watches "Grey's Anatomy" unless his girlfriend forces him to. No man bakes cookies for his dog. No man feels blue and takes off work to spend the day in bed with a copy of "The Friday Night Knitting Club"... At least no man I know. Of course, not all women do these things, either -- although enough do to make one wonder whether there isn't some genetic aspect of the female brain, something evolutionarily connected to the fact that we live longer than men or go through childbirth, that turns the pre-frontal cortex into Cream of Wheat.

What the hell is she even saying?

Based on the people I know, here's how my argument would go:
Men are generous, selfish, stupid, smart, creative, boring, and tend to like/hate sports.
Women are...(see above)

Wow! I can formulate arguments based on non-evidence too! Men and women are human! That was easy.

She finishes off with a ridiculous statement:

The theory that women are the dumber sex -- or at least the sex that gets into more car accidents -- is amply supported by neurological and standardized-testing evidence.

And...this:

So I don't understand why more women don't relax, enjoy the innate abilities most of us possess (as well as the ones fewer of us possess) and revel in the things most important to life at which nearly all of us excel: tenderness toward children and men and the weak and the ability to make a house a home.

Holy fuck!

I understand that she's making an attempt at straight talk, trying to see the world for what it is, without any dreams of how things should be, but she does a horrible job of it. Instead, she simply forces her own misconceptions into a meandering, pointless "argument." Got to hand it to her, though, it takes balls to take your self-hatred to print.

Of course men and women are different, but it's a fluid difference. Some men are more like women, and vice versa.

And if making a house a home is one of the most important thing in life, I need to re-evaluate my priorities. But before I change my life to suit my sex, I'll have a few of my friends come over to help me.

What if this article had been written by a man? It never would have been published, at least not in the Washington Post, because it's extremely sexist. Oh, but it's okay, she can call us fucking stupid bitches because she's one herself.

Happy Women's History Month!

It's March, Spring is coming, and it's our month ladies!

In honor of this, our month, Women's Voices is putting the spotlight on female bloggers.

If you like this blog, or have another favorite feminist blog, go nominate it here.

I think the whole concept of themed months is a little misguided. Each time the month rolls around, we have to remind people to celebrate a certain portion of the population. It's a nice sentiment, but it's a reminder that these people aren't celebrated year round.

Anyway, just some quick thoughts.