Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Little Georgie and the Great Big Perch

I've had an epiphany. I will no longer call George Bush an idiot. He is simply a 7 year old. He is a little boy in a big ugly body. Watch out Tom Hanks.

A story related to the self-proclaimed greatest moment in Bush's presidency: catching a 7.5 pound perch gave me this idea. According to "Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me..." the world record catch is a 4 pound perch. Bush's response? The Germans translated it wrong. Peter Segel says, however, that the white house transcript originally said "perch." Now? It says bass.

Let's compare that with a fictional account based on years of teaching children.
Me: Georgy, do you know how to spell animal?
Georgy: Yeah.
Me: Okay, so how do you spell it?
G: A-n-n-i-m-o-u-l.
Me: No, that's not right.
G: Wait, what did you say?
Me: Animal.
G: No, you said An-nim-oul. You just changed it. Animal, geez, I know how to spell that. You said it wrong, dummy.
Me: Now that's not polite. Why don't we write it out and see what we get? Do you know the word I'm saying now?
G: Yeah, no thanks to you, stupid head German.
Me: Okay, please spell animal.
G: Karl! Can you come here? Donny? Sorry, I have to talk to my friends.
Me: Sigh. Kids these days. They can't even CHEAT well.


An idiot president? I feel sorry for an idiot president, but we can probably wade through eight years of idiot. Eight years of a seven year old that didn't come out of you? That's too much to ask of anyone.

We better watch out. I think Iran just gave Georgie a wedgie. We better bomb them before they put his head in the toilet and flush.

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