You MUST be joking: Dating a Banker Anonymous

Dating a Banker Anonymous is a support group for women who are "stuck" dating a banker. Here's the full text from the intro:

Are you or someone you love dating a banker? If so, we are here to support you through these difficult times. Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA) is a safe place where women can come together – free from the scrutiny of feminists– and share their tearful tales of how the mortgage meltdown has affected their relationships. DABA Girls was started by two best friends whose relationships tanked with the economy. Not knowing what else to do, we did what frustrated but articulate girls have done since the beginning of time - we started a blog. So if your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life, lighten your heart with laughter and email your stories to dabagirls@gmail.com. Warning all stories sent will be infused with our own special brand of DABA Girl humor.

The "humor" they mention is the Gossip Girl/Sex and the City "look at me, I'm really spoiled and unhappy" brand of wit. To be fair, they've found a niche and they're running with it. Fine. And if they have emotionally and/or physically abusive boyfriends (or 'FBFs' - financial boyfriends), then they should have a support group.

But most of these women are talking about everyday depression. Their boyfriends are watching their lives disintegrate and it's "not what they signed up for." Their rich boyfriends aren't making money anymore and they're all mopey and "clingy." What's a girl to do?

How about...be a good partner? Everyone goes through bad times. The nice thing about being in a relationship? Your other half wants to make you feel better. They...you know...CARE about you. That's comforting when everything else in your life is turning to shit.

I could continue with the appalling quotes, but you get the idea. This is a group of selfish, whiny women. They act like they're victims of the recession. If they're so unhappy, just BREAK UP with the guy. It'll probably be better for him in the long run. Of course, then you'd be forced to change your "facebook status from 'in a relationship' to 'I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger, but I ain’t messin’ with no broke banker.'" THE HORROR!!!

Talk about false victimization. I wish these women would either grow a pair and help these guys out, or get out before they do any damage to their "FBFs."

UPDATE: Here's the NYT story about these ladies.

DC Madam: A Very Personal Eulogy From Susie Bright

Susie Bright, author of a bunch of great sexual politics books and all-around awesome lady has a touching post up on her blog about Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the DC Madam who hung herself recently.

I have to quote the whole thing, because it offers tremendous insight into Palfrey, and it's a wonderful picture of a woman seeking to understand another woman:

Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the "DC Madam" whose call-girl service got busted in the cross-hairs of partisan payback, has committed suicide. She hung herself at her mother's home in Tarpon Springs, Florida.

Susie's talk with Jeane, 2007 (mp3): Link

Transcript of DJP interview: Link

Jeane, I am so sorry. I know you swore to me that you'd never serve another term in prison for prostitution, or anything else. You almost lost your eyesight the first time. I'm sure you asked your lawyers if there was any hope for your sentencing, and I guess it must have looked bleak.

I know how pissed you were. This was an act of revenge, and I know who you're determined to haunt.

You were righteously furious at all the men who "walked away."

I'm sure that goes quite a ways back, but it certainly includes the esteemed gents on your client list: Louisiana fundamentalist, Senator David Vitter; Abstinence Ambassador Randall Tobias, who squashed AIDS funds all over the world; "Shock and Awe" war profiteer, Harlan Ullman.

And that was just the expendable layer. None of them were charged with anything; all are living quite comfortably, in particular because they have no conscience whatsoever.

Was Jeane suicidal, in the first place? Yes, but I'd describe that carefully. She wasn't irrational to think she wouldn't survive another round in a penitentiary; her health was poor. And she was brittle, the kind of person who is aware of her considerable intellect and education, but who finds herself in unlucky and vulnerable situations over and over again.

She was gullible to the wrong kinda guys, the kind of men who turned her out when she was young, whom she mistakenly placed faith in when she was looking for love, or a safe harbor. She's the kind of woman who should've been groomed for university when she was young, and cultivated for her bright mind and sensitivities. Instead, she was exploited and wasted— and her bitterness, her depression, was a result of that cruel awareness.

She tried to "go straight" after the first round in prison, and of course, was undermined by the typical prejudices against her record. She became more angry about the hypocrites, and determined to beat them at their own game. But it's clear that when Cheney bigwigs were on her tail, she wasn't going to beat their surveillance and manipulations.

Why doesn't everyone kill themselves when they're facing hard odds like Jeane did? Well, that's the million-karma question. All I can offer at this point, is painfully prescient rhetoric: Hell hath no fury like a smart woman scorned.... and justice has NOT been served.

MobLogic Gets a Feminist Bump

I don't speak for anyone at MobLogic when I say this, but this week there were some great feminist-y shows. I always enjoy sinking my teeth into a MobLogic blog, but I was especially psyched to write about the fact that porn is legal but prostitution is not and a study that confirms the g-spot's existence, just not for every woman. I should say that I have nothing to do with picking the shows.

Here are the shows. I love my job!

This is What a Feminist Commericial Looks Like

Yes, it's a commercial, but how many feminist commercials are out there today? I only wish it was on TV. There are so many people out there with the wrong idea about what feminism is today. You are a feminist as long as you believe in equality for everyone.

I like this commercial, even if it is a little cheesy. It makes me feel all warm inside.

Dolls Can Get Implants Too!

Okay, so maybe this is all an ironic, social experiment. But I don't think so.

Last month, the Miss Bimbo virtual fashion game launched in the UK. Each girl on the site gets a naked bimbo who they have to dress, pimp, and pervert until they're the "hottest, coolest, most famous bimbo in the whole world."

They compete for bimbo bucks, which they can then apply towards breast implants and facelifts. Those give them bimbo attitudes (popular points), which help them win the 'game'. Oh, and make sure to keep your bimbo "waif thin."

If this is ironic, it is severely misguided irony. The website says the competitors are between the ages of 7 and 17. Children don't understand irony or sarcasm. It's the last thing to fall into place.

But aside from that, the competitors need to give her bimbo bigger breasts, sexy outfits, and rich boyfriends to win this game. 234 515 "bimbos" are competing right now.

There's a sister site in France, Ma Bimbo.

It's only a matter of time before this hits the US. I'm shocked one of us didn't come up with it first.

I have to go cry now.

MobLogical

This is a little off topic, but the new show I'm blogging for, Moblogic, was born today. The team did an amazing job getting everything together. And Sean Tice blew my mind with his web design. As always, Lindsay is stunning, brilliant, and awesome. (Couldn't think of any more vague adjectives, but she knows I love her.)

Here's a little taste.

Happy Women's History Month!

It's March, Spring is coming, and it's our month ladies!

In honor of this, our month, Women's Voices is putting the spotlight on female bloggers.

If you like this blog, or have another favorite feminist blog, go nominate it here.

I think the whole concept of themed months is a little misguided. Each time the month rolls around, we have to remind people to celebrate a certain portion of the population. It's a nice sentiment, but it's a reminder that these people aren't celebrated year round.

Anyway, just some quick thoughts.

Feminteresting, Indeed

Adam brought a new movement for gender-based taxation to my attention.

Gender-based taxation: women are taxed less than men.

From a paper by Alberto Alesio et. al, via The Atlantic:

Gender Based Taxation (GBT) satisfies Ramsey’s optimal criterion by taxing less the more elastic labor supply of (married) women.

So married women are taxed less than men. A convoluted way to make sure women get equal pay for equal work. A convoluted way to pay housewives for their work. Is there no better way?

Well, The F Word posted a Daily Mail article that reports researchers have found that housewife work is worth 30,000 pounds a year.

I feel like I've seen this before, in countless economic surveys. It doesn't make a difference. I think both ideas would eventually fail. Married people already get a break on their taxes (I think). We need to figure out a better way to get women the money they deserve. And a paycheck for housewives, like Jess McCabe at The F Word says, would invite scrutiny and criticism from the public and the government. Will all housewives have to teach their children abstinence? Do they get extra if they homeschool? Do they get days off? Who is their boss? The kids? The husband? The government. Yikes. Sounds horrible.

Neither of these proposals fixes the inequality ingrained in our economy, the sexism we've come to expect in our work system. They are band-aids that will quickly fall off.

I wish there was a simple answer, but there's not. Both of these proposals scare me, because the implications extend far beyond their original intentions. I understand that these people are trying to make the world fair, but they can't. Not this way, at least.

Update: Shuster Suspended, Not Expelled

TPM reports that Shuster is on suspension, but he'll be back.

Good.

THIS is what's wrong with Clinton's campaign

Unfortunately, I think this cheesy, unrefined, untalented performance represents Clinton's campaign perfectly. I'm not talking about the issues here. But come on, how the hell does cheese like this compare to this?

Sure, it's manipulative. But it's hot. Like Obama. I think these videos are a great representation of the differences between these two. Again, this is playing into the idea (which is, I think, obviously true) that a lot of people vote based on the feeling of a candidate, the vibe.

I can't resist putting this one up.

A perfect representation of funny Americans. I love this.

The Huffington Post Becomes Cosmo

Ugh. I knew there'd be plenty of fodder for this blog for the upcoming commercialized, forced, "romantic" Valentine's Day, but I didn't expect it to come from The Huffington Post.

Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent (it took two people to come up with this shit?) posted a cutesy, euphemism-filled column today titled: "How To Celebrate Valentine's Day Like A Hot Chick." Yeah, I know.

Yes, the title is a play on Jodi Lipper's book "How to Eat Like a Hot Chick" and it's ostensibly an empowering notion that we all have an "inner" hot chick, but that totally doesn't fly for me. What does it mean to have an inner hot chick? Is there a woman with great hair an a kickin' bod trapped inside my body? Is she the one that needs all that junk food? I think I need an exorcism.

Anyway, back to the article. I guess I should make clear that I am a V-day hater. I don't like to feel manipulated by the greeting card industry, and I don't like forced romanticism.

This article isn't about that, which, you know, is fine, if you're into expectations and obligation. Lipper and Vincent want to answer the question no one's asking: "Isn't it ironic that the same day that is supposed to inspire love, romance and bliss often ends up filled with arguments, disappointments and loneliness?" (No, it's not ironic it's exactly what the holiday is set up for.)

The article has two sections, one for couples, one for singles. Each has three different options for the supposedly big day. Each one assumes women expect to be pampered, surprised, adored...sorry, I have to throw up.

There are condescending suggestions:

If you have a Valentine and want all the frills..., then we know a way for you to get exactly what your little heart desires. Ready? Plan it yourself! Many women have super high expectations about what they want on V-day, but they don't communicate these wishes to their man and get all pissy when they don't get what they want. Well, here's the scoop, Hot Chicks - he can't read your mind. Sometimes we have to take the lead when we want something done the way we want it.

Suggestions of bribery:

...Steak and a BJ Day. This is a holiday on any day of the year when you take your man out for a giant steak, buy him beers and/or whiskey, and then... well... you get it. Not only is this a great way to make your man feel loved and give him a special treat that he deserves, but it's also a genius way to ensure that your Valentine's Day is a good one. Trust us, if he knows this holiday is coming, he will use all of his resources to make sure that your holiday is just as enjoyable as his is going to be.

Impulse purchases:

Buy yourself those earrings you've been eyeing online or get in your car and drive to a nearby city and spend the day exploring. Go for it - spoil yourself the way you deserve to be spoiled and you won't feel lonely at all.

Nowhere in the article is it mentioned that, if you happen to place a lot of importance on a made up day, maybe you should stop. Maybe you should take a cue from history. Valentines were martyrs. Don't let yourself be one.

To be fair, the article's last suggestion:

Valentine's Day is about passion, so take this opportunity to indulge in the things you are passionate about, whatever they may be. You don't need a guy to feel like the fabulous, sexy creature that you are - you just need the things that you love.

This would be great, if the rest of the article didn't contradict it. Huffington Post, I'm disappointed.

"The Guy's Guide to Cooking For Girls"

Via Techcrunch:

Culinary Seductions is a new site that bribes men to cook for women. How? It'll get them into bed.

The ridiculously sexist site never calls women "girls." In fact, they ask girls to upload pictures of themselves.

(From the site) We're looking for photos and videos of sexy girls admiring their favorite foods! Send us photos of yourself or your date. We'll post the ones that make us the hungriest!

The picture in this post is their "Bite of the Month."

I know I'm lucky. My husband cooks dinner for me a lot. All I can do is hot dogs and frozen dinners. I know a lot of men don't cook, but is this really necessary? Maybe it works as a gimmick (a big MAYBE), but the site is just an excuse to gawk at beautiful women.

Here are some more gems:

Tease Her Taste Buds

You'll be sure to find the perfect dish for any doll.

Click the menu tab and you'll find a Meat Loving Madam (who is, apparently, breasts)

The deeper you go, the worse it gets. Ugh.

Hillary Clit-on

Get it? If you take out the 'n' her name is like clit but with an 'on' at the end. It's funny, cause it's true.

That's about the caliber of the Hall of Sexism out there on Cafe Press. There are some seriously unfunny sexists out there.

Broadsheet did some research. Unfortunately, I don't think they had to look very hard. Click on the link to find every horribly sexist thing you could think of to say about Hillary Clinton.

But no, it's okay, because it's about a woman. And it's on a t-shirt. Isn't free speech great sometimes? It's a great way to see how fucked up this "cunt-ry" is.

Attention Ladies: Keep Proof of Your Academic Past On Hand at All Times

This HuffPo article really pissed me off just now:

"OC" alum Mischa Barton went to Sundance to promote "Assassination of a High School President" and to try to shift focus from her recent DUI arrest. She talked to Fox News and insisted that she was really an academic girl. (emphasis mine)

Sure, drunk driving is idiotic, but why the hell does this woman have to insistshe was an academic girl? Is there some evidence to the contrary? Is it because she's beautiful? Or because of a DUI? Apparently, she was even responsible about going to the press about said DUI. Sounds like a bright woman to me.

The tone of this blurb is ridiculously insulting. Why the hell would Barton lie about her academic past? I mean, we all know men like stupid bitches anyway, right?

More Slate: How Chris Matthews Would Talk to Men if he Was an Equal-Opportunity Offender

Sorry about all the quoting, but here's another great article from Slate:

According to the Web site Media Matters, MSNBC host Chris Matthews has a history of drooling over female guests. For example, on Jan. 4, Matthews told Elizabeth Edwards, "You've got a great face, Elizabeth. I love your smile. ... I'm sorry. I don't want to patronize you. You're great." To Laura Ingraham, Sept. 12: "I get in trouble for this, but you're great looking, obviously. You're one of the gods' gifts to men in this country." To CNBC's Erin Burnett, Aug. 10: "[Y]ou're beautiful. … [Y]ou're a knockout."

Matthews also recently apologized to Hillary Clinton for saying that the "reason she may be a front-runner is her husband messed around." It's ridiculous for Matthews to have to apologize to the women he's interviewed. What he needs to do is treat the guys equally.

*****

To Rudy Giuliani: I love the smile. Guys, can we get a tighter shot of his face? Close in on the eyes. Oh, yeah. You're beautiful. You're a dreamboat. You're America's Mayor. I bet Judi took one look at those high beams, and, bam, you were in the sack. Am I right? Look at him! That's a 9-1-1 smile! Dial 9-1-1, somebody! I'm having a heart attack.

Chris Matthews Apologizes

Favorite quote: "She did a 'wow' of a job..."

Okay, so he belabors the heart bit a little. (Gag) But he makes a good point. He does this shit on purpose. He's politically incorrect because it gets him numbers. When viewers complained, he apologized. That's the way punditry works. Sad, I know.

Feministing has a great list of all the shit Matthews has gotten away with. I guess these weren't affecting his numbers.

* In an interview with John and Elizabeth Edwards: "Behind every great man is a woman trying to kill him... What's this with equal marriages? Why do people try to marry their equals? What happened to the Stepford Wives, the good ol' days? [Audience boos.] Oh, how PC! How PC!"

* He's called Hillary Clinton "witchy," "she devil" and compared her to a "strip-teaser." He has referred to men who support her as "castratos in the eunuch chorus." He has suggested Clinton is not "a convincing mom" and said "modern women" like Clinton are unacceptable to "Midwest guys." He has called her "Madame Defarge" and "Nurse Ratched."

* He has described one of Clinton's speeches as a "barn-burner speech, which is harder to give for a woman; it can grate on some men when they listen to it -- fingernails on a blackboard."

* To Sen. Chris Dodd: “Do you find it difficult to debate a woman?”

* To CNBC's Erin Burnett: "You're beautiful," "you're a knockout," and "It's all right getting bad news from you."

* On one show, he repeatedly asked his guests if they find Ann Coulter attractive. And when they, smartly, wouldn't answer, Matthews said, "You guys are all afraid to answer. No, I find her—I wouldn‘t put her—well, she doesn‘t pass the Chris Matthews test."

* And to top it all off, the Hillary Clinton cheek-pinching incident.

Oh Good. Sean Paul will save her.

Just what Britney Spears needs. Some guy she's never heard of to "smack" and "spank" her.

Added bonus: the paparazzi fucking laughs. What's that about?

I love how everyone wants other celebs to give "advice" to Spears. That's what I would want if I went through a nervous breakdown: strangers telling me what to do.

I Love this Woman

Via Feministe:

Dear, Use Me While Having in Sex

Dancing condoms and ninjas. This gets really good around five minutes in.



I'm glad stuff like this exists in India. Sure, it goes on a little long, but it's mesmerizing. Imagine those condom guys walking down the street.

Condoms for everyone!

target: vagina

People are talking about this:
No one knows if Target intentionally placed the model's vagina right in the bull's eye, but, as most people are saying, it's hard to believe no one noticed.

It's hanging in Times Square.